There are a lot of amazing men in the world. Some of my best friends in the world are boys, and I would trust them with my universe.
This post is not about those boys.
Between dealing with it myself and helping my friends with them, I’ve experienced my fair share of fuckboys, and I’ve become a self-proclaimed expert at identifying them. Unfortunately, not all of us have this gift, so I thought I’d create a guide that you can refer back to every time you meet a boy that you think might just be a little bit of a fuckboy.
If he has characteristics he wants in a partner and thinks of them as lesser if they haven’t got that. Maybe that’s going to the gym or having a degree or being into the Courteeners (absolutely not speaking from experience here, definitely not!). Whatever it is, if you don’t have it he thinks you’re less worthy of his time.
If he suddenly switches between being really into you and ignoring you, he’s probably a fuckboy.
If he says something ignorant and then argues his point of view in a really patronising way, ugh, get out of there, get out of there now. To extend on this, if he’s patronising to the point where you’d use it as a personality trait of his. If you’d describe him as a patronising person, that’s not the kind of boy you want to play a huge role in your life.
If he only texts you at 2am, he’s probably a fuckboy. What does he want? What could he possibly want at 2am that he can’t ask you at lunchtime?
If he insults other women, take 100 steps back. If he insults random women in public, for example, turning to you and making a horrible comment about another girls lipstick. Not only is he probably a fuckboy, but he’s generally just a bit of a dickhead.
If he makes jokes about immigrants, about disabled people, about anyone trans, about young mothers, GET OUT OF THERE. NO WAY IN HELL. NO NO NO.
If Ross is his favourite character on friends. Don’t trust any boy who thinks Ross was a good boyfriend. Just don’t.
If he tries to turn you against your friends for his own benefit, get out of there. Your friends are the people who know you best in the world, and if he’s noticeably trying to create a rift between you and a friend, it’s probably because he knows they’ll tell you he’s garbage.
If he starts to pursue you the second you start to act disinterested, don’t bother. He should be interested in you all the time, not just when it can be turned into a game.
He cares more about your body than your mind. If he’s always begging for nudes, if he wants to take you home the minute you get to the club, if he never just wants to sit and talk. We all know what he’s looking for.
If he acts disinterested and makes you second guess yourself and his feelings, he’s literally not worth your time.
He talks shit about all his exes or calls them ‘crazy’. There is no way that every single person that boy has ever dated is crazy. What’s the common denominator in all those ‘crazy’ breakups? Him. Making his exes look bad by calling them ‘crazy’ is the easiest technique to hide all his own bad behaviour.
He doesn’t have to have all these characteristics, but if he has quite a few I’d like you to step away from the inevitable catastrophe that we can all see coming. Have I missed out any obvious fuckboy signs? Let me know in the comments what you think are the easiest ways to spot a fuckboy, and make sure you follow me on Bloglovin’ and Instagram to keep up to date with my posts!
(To the several boys on Instagram who used this blog post as an excuse to slide into my DM’s: No, I’m not single. No, my boyfriend is not one of these boys. When you’re only being nice long enough to find this out and then immediately switch to being a dickhead because I’m not interested, guess what! You’re the kind of boy this blog post was written about.)