I’ve just taken a huge risk. Contrary to the advice of everyone I asked, and ignoring the trembling in my gut, I deleted my blog. I can practically hear my mum screaming “what have you done!” and she doesn’t even know yet. It wasn’t a decision I took lightly, or quickly. It’s been bubbling around in my head for weeks, elevated by sooooo many difficulties I had with my old one that just became too much. The reality is, I’m not the same person I was before. My old content, my old style, my old pictures, my old statistics, none of it represents me anymore. I’m not 17 any more, and I don’t want to write about rainy day playlists or my favourite Christmas jumpers. I’ve changed, and that’s ok.
This isn’t to say I’m ashamed or embarrassed by my old posts. I’m not, not even a little bit. Half of them are still backed up on an old hard drive for keepsies, but I don’t want them to represent me online anymore for one very simple reason. They’re boring. I slacked off my blog so much during my first year of university, and that’s because everything I was writing about had become so dull to me. I didn’t care about what I was writing about and it was killing my creativity. There are a few posts that I was proud of, and that I might re-upload and backdate, but it’s not very likely.
When I told my friend about this problem, his immediate response was “don’t be silly, you haven’t changed!”, but that’s not true. I’m ok with that. How boring would life be if we were all the same people we were 3 years ago? Change is inevitable and it doesn’t scare me anymore. I want to change, I want to learn and grow and discover new things every single day. Life without change is boring, so that’s why taking this risk doesn’t scare me. I may be starting from scratch again with all my statistics, but who cares? I love to read posts that I can tell people loved writing, and I hope everyone else does too.
So yes, I have changed, and that’s a good thing.